I Know Whom I Have Believed
By Renee Lego
Days like right now, when things are changing every hour, when we really don’t know what tomorrow will look like— I find comfort in these words.
Last month my Aunt passed away. She lived to be 76 years old and the last several years of her life she suffered with Alzheimer’s. Her mind started slipping many years ago, forgetting minor things, but she was still able to manage life. But for the past 2 years, she had been living in a nursing home where she was unable to communicate and really had no memories of those closest to her.
My aunt was a Christian, meaning she had professed that she believed in Jesus. That she believed God sent His son Jesus to die for her sins. She lived her life doing her best to honor him. I saw a video of her, after she had lost the ability to communicate or remember her own family, where my cousin visited her and sang ‘Amazing Grace’ with her. Even though she couldn’t talk, the words of that song came out of her lips— the words that were buried deep within her soul were still there!
During my aunt’s final hours here on earth, she was lying in her bed and my family said that every few minutes, she would reach her arms up towards the sky as if she were reaching out to someone. Of course, we really don’t know what she was reaching to, but I like to think that she was reaching out to her Savior as He welcomed her home.
Growing up, my family attended a traditional church where we sang hymns from a hymnal each week. I love music and I love the worship we have now at Grace. But sometimes, those old hymns that I sang as a child and teen surface, speaking to my heart. As I was processing my Aunts passing, one hymn kept coming back to me. The words of the title kept running through my mind – “...I know whom I have believed”. These words brought me comfort as I was dealing with the loss of my aunt. Knowing who she believed in— even when her mind couldn’t comprehend anything here on earth— she could reach out to her Savior whom she believed wholeheartedly in. Knowing that she was with Him, while she was living here on earth, while she was taking her final breath, and now for eternity, brought peace to my soul.
In the days since her death, this song has continued to run through my mind. What a good ear worm to have, right? Days like right now, when things are changing every hour, when really don’t know what tomorrow will look— I find comfort in these words.
No matter what happens here today or tomorrow, I know in whom I have believed— and that He holds me today, tomorrow, and for eternity.
I know it is an older song and definitely not contemporary worship, but I hope that you will listen to this song. Who knows, maybe like me, you grew up singing this song and it will resonate deep within your soul. Maybe if you have never heard this song, you can listen to the words for the first time and allow them to sink in.